The Importance of Connections

Today I’m going to underline something we writers don’t like to believe, but which we secretly know: Much of your success in your work will depend upon who you know.  And, sadly, it’s whom you know, but “who” is how the saying goes. Already I digress.

            Connections can make all the difference.  People in power (publishers, agents, editors) are only human, and tend to believe the recommendation of a trusted friend more than your carefully crafted cover letter.  Because of this, often the son of their buddy will get the assignment before some stranger will, four states away.

            Yes, you can forget this principle and doggedly work on your book, your script, your articles, and you will attain some measure of success.  But the chances of launching your work to the next level are slim.  Oh, it happens, but it’s rare.  Frequently the people who “break through” knew someone, and they’ll even admit it.  I was at a dinner party once where an Emmy-award-winning writer confessed that he never once got a job on his own; it was always through a friend of his dad’s, or some other connection.  Was he good?  Probably.  Was he lucky? Absolutely.

            We don’t like to think that luck trumps talent; it negates the importance of the skills we’ve honed, the passion we’ve devoted to our craft.  And it isn’t fair, doggone it—something we still believe we are owed by the universe, a holdover idea from our childhoods. 

            So what can you do about it?  First of all, stop pouting and resenting those with better connections than you have.  It is what it is.  Self-pity will stifle your creativity and your energy to do those things you actually can, to sell your work.  I was meeting with agents and producers in Hollywood when we suddenly moved to (you will never believe this) IOWA!  Are you kidding me?  Be a screenwriter living in the Midwest?  So I shifted gears and wrote books and plays.  Today I live in Northern California where it’s still hard to zip into L.A. for meetings, so my (brilliant, thank you) screenplays are not getting shopped around.  Also, I’m not 28 anymore, and ageism in Hollywood is widely known.  But I don’t sit and cry; I roll up my sleeves and do what I can.

            The second thing you can do is to network, socialize, and make friends.  This sounds like bitter medicine to many an introverted writer, but it’s what you must do to market your work.  And you can do it both electronically and in person.  Attend those parties, chat up those folks in the biz, and make yourself known.  Obviously, if you live in L.A. or New York, you have many more opportunities than if you live in Billings, Montana.  But again, do what you can where you are.  Use Facebook, Twitter, and every other social media device you can to make friends.  Notice I said friends, not contacts.  Develop real relationships with people and doors will open.  Like it or not, it’s who you know.  Ouch. I mean whom.